SmokeAndMirrors™

Throughout history, there is nothing that makes better magician tricks than the good ol’ fashioned SmokeAndMirrors™. Wanna learn a thing or two about those, boys and girls?

Proofs with parameters that exist only in the imaginary plane, coming up in the next Linux Loon retort!

Look! I have totally proved that you can do professional 3D modelling in 2011 with nothing more than a Pentium PC. 100% “photorealistic”. True story! Just disregard the part where I can’t even tell you what I have actually doodled on that nearly 15 years old junker.

Oh, you are a stupid Winbred™ for even thinking about that “object-oriented” thing!

Seriously, all you need for interacting with the OS is a bunch of pseudo-files formatted in ASCII. What do you mean “data type” and “bound checks”? Correctness is for sissies coding in C – real men use bash for everything! And did I tell you bash is Turing-complete?

Just don’t make me prove my point by writing syntactically incorrect C code and then make a bunch of pathetic excuses about it.

What? You still aren’t satisfied?

You know even Einstein had nothing on me. What I say now may not be strictly-speaking conferring to the reality, but as long as you have faith in the FreeCulture™, you know that even the laws of physics will bend in order to suit my way of thinking. I am just that awesome. Damn – just check out the books that I have allegedly read and you will know how knowledgeable this LinuxEvangelist™ really is.

Now would you excuse me – I have got some used cars to sell.